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NYC Psychotherapist Blog

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Showing posts with label healing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label healing. Show all posts

Monday, June 8, 2026

How is Therapy With a Psychotherapist Different From Using Artificial Intelligence?

In the last several years some people have been relying on Artificial Intelligence (AI) for their mental health issues instead of seeing a licensed mental health professional.  

Psychotherapy With a Live Therapist vs Using A.I.

Although AI can be useful in terms of understanding certain mental health issues, it's not a substitute for working with a psychotherapist. 

How is Therapy With a Psychotherapist Different From Using AI?
Psychotherapy and AI are fundamentally different:

The primary distinctions between AI and psychotherapy include:

The Therapeutic Relationship
  • Psychotherapy: The therapeutic relationship between a client and therapist is central to psychotherapy. Healing occurs through a felt, trusted human relationship. In addition to what is said, therapists are attuned to non-verbal cues like voice tone, micro-expressions, posture and silences. Many psychotherapists who are trained to work in a psychodynamic way also tune into the client's conscious and unconscious gestures.  When psychotherapists and clients work together, whether it is online or in person, there is a right-brain-to-right brain attunement between therapist and client which enhances the client's healing.
Psychotherapy With a Live Therapist vs Using A.I.
  • AI: AI operates on textual inputs. It cannot form a relational bond or therapeutic alliance with a client. Although it can mimic validation, it generates language statistically rather than experiencing an emotional connection with the client. 
Therapeutic Empathy:
  • Psychotherapy: Therapeutic empathy is an essential part of healing in psychotherapy. Therapists are trained to develop empathy for clients and help clients to develop empathy and self compassion  (see my article: Why Is Empathy Important in Psychotherapy?).
Psychotherapy With a Live Therapist vs Using A.I.
  • AI: An AI chatbot can adjust its responses based on sentiment analysis and learning algorithms, but lack the emotional bandwidth which is found with human psychotherapists. It can mimic empathy, but it cannot feel it. It could possibly guide, but it can't witness. 
Clinical Judgment vs Pattern Recognition
  • Psychotherapy: Psychotherapists spend years training to diagnose conditions, assess complex safety risks and change treatment based on clients' responses.
Psychotherapy With a Licensed Therapist vs Using A.I.
  • AI: AI evaluates texts based on probability and patterns from their training data. It struggles with deeply complex content and cannot make nuanced clinical choices.
Crisis Management and Safety
  • Psychotherapy: Psychotherapists are legally bound to intervene during a crisis. Therapists actively build therapeutic plans for conditions such panic attacks or psychological trauma.
Psychotherapy With a Licensed Therapist vs A.I.
  • AI: Chatbots cannot manage a crisis and often default to crisis-line referrals. If they fail to read the situation appropriately, they can provide inappropriate and stigmatizing advice.
Accountability and Ethics
  • Psychotherapy: Mental health practitioners operate under strict state boards, ethical codes and HIPAA privacy laws.
Psychotherapy With a Licensed Therapist vs Using A.I.
  • AI.: Chatbot platforms are corporate products not medical entities. Data privacy rules can vary widely which raises the risk regarding how sensitive personal information is stored and shared.
Intended Outcomes
  • Psychotherapy: Psychotherapy is designed to foster psychological breakthroughs, process deep-seated trauma and build long term, structural psychological changes.
Psychotherapy With a Licensed Therapist vs Using A.I.
  • AI: AI cannot foster psychological breakthroughs. It is best suited as an adjunct to therapy for accessing certain behavioral tools like reflection prompts, mood tracking or breathing exercises between psychotherapy sessions. 
Conclusion
The future of mental health will not be a choice between working with a human psychotherapist versus texting a chatbot.

In moments of crisis where psychotherapy is unavailable, like in a war-torn country, AI can provide information, but it has limitations.  

In terms of psychological healing, the human-to-human contact that available in psychotherapy is essential and irreplaceable for psychological healing.

About Me
I am a licensed New York psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, EFT (for couples), Parts Work (IFS and Ego States Therapy), Somatic Experiencing and Certified Sex Therapist.

I have helped many individual adults and couples over the years.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

Also See My Articles:


















 

Tuesday, December 16, 2025

How is Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy (AEDP) a Psychodynamic Therapy?

In my prior article,  How is Contemporary Psychodynamic Therapy Different From Traditional Psychoanalysis?, I discussed the difference between contemporary (modern) psychodynamic therapy and traditional (Freudian) psychoanalysis.

AEDP as a Psychodynamic Therapy

In the current article, I'm discussing how Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy (AEDP) is a type of psychodynamic psychotherapy.

What is AEDP?
AEDP was developed by clinician and researcher, Dr. Diana Fosha.

See my two prior articles:


How is AEDP a Psychodynamic Therapy?
AEDP is a psychodynamic therapy because it stems from psychodynamic principles.

The psychodynamic roots of AEDP include concepts such as:
AEDP as a Psychodynamic Therapy
  • Exploration of Defenses: AEDP delves into how we use defense mechanisms (ways to avoid emotional and psychological pain) which were developed as a strategy to cope with overwhelming pain. This is a core concept of psychodynamic therapy.
  • Relational Focus: AEDP emphasizes the relationship between the client and the therapist as crucial to the client's healing. This is an essential part of psychodynamic psychotherapy.
How is AEDP Different From Psychodynamic Therapy?
  • Experiential and Focused on Emotion: Instead of only analyzing the past, AEDP focuses on the here-and-now to fully focus on emotions as they arise in the therapy using these moments as a catalyst for change (see my article: Riding the Waves of Transformation).
AEDP as a Psychodynamic Therapy
  • Accelerated Healing: The "Accelerated" part of AEDP refers to harnessing the client's powerful emotional experiences, including emotions like joy and grief, to facilitate accelerated healing (as compared to most psychodynamic therapies) rather than a slow exploration of the client's dynamics (see my article: How Does AEDP Work?).
  • The Client's Innate Resilience: AEDP assumes that people are hardwired for resilience. AEDP focuses on and amplifies what is already working for the client. This helps to build the client's existing strengths which promotes the client's flourishing. This is a significant difference from many forms of psychodynamic therapy which focus on the pathology (pathology in this context refers to mental and behavioral patterns that are dysfunctional).
Conclusion
AEDP uses psychodynamic principles, but it deepens and tends to speed up the process by getting clients to feel and transform emotions experientially within a secure, attachment-based therapeutic relationship. This helps clients to unlock their innate capacity for healing (see my article: Why is Experiential Therapy More Effective Than Traditional Therapy to Resolve Trauma).

Get Help in AEDP Therapy
If you have been struggling on your own to cope with unresolved trauma, you could benefit from working with an AEDP therapist.

To find an AEDP therapist near you, you can search on the AEDP directory.

Rather than struggling on your own, seek help from a licensed mental health professional who is trained in AEDP.

About Me
I am a licensed New York psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, EFT (for couples), Parts Work (IFS and Ego States), Somatic Experiencing and Certified Sex Therapist.

As a trauma therapist with more than 25 years of experience, I have helped many individual adults and couples to heal from trauma (see my article: How Trauma Therapy Can Help You Overcome Unresolved Trauma).

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.



 

Wednesday, September 24, 2025

Relationships: How to Rebuild Trust After You Have Betrayed Your Partner

Several years ago I wrote an article about rebuilding trust after a betrayal in a relationship focusing on the person who was betrayed. 

In the current article I'm focusing on how the person who betrayed their partner can try to rebuild trust.

Rebuilding Trust After You Betrayed Your Partner

How Can You Rebuild Trust in Your Relationship After You Have Betrayed Your Partner?
If you have betrayed your partner and your partner is willing to give you a second chance, be aware that this can be a delicate time in your relationship.

Even if you both want to try to work it out, it might not last. The reason for this is that many couples who try to work on their relationship after a betrayal discover the road to rebuilding trust is harder than they anticipated and they just can't get there.

Rebuilding Trust After You Have Betrayed Your Partner

If you're sincere and you're both willing to do the work, here are some suggestions that can help:
  • Listen to Your Partner Express Their Pain: You need to listen to your partner express the pain you caused them without getting defensive or making excuses. This often involves more than just one conversation, but if you want to regain your partner's trust, you need to be attuned to their pain. Your partner might need time to fully realize the affect of this betrayal, what it meant to them and how they will express it to you. Allow them the time and space to do it.
Rebuilding Trust After You Have Betrayed Your Partner
  • Acknowledge the Harm You Did and Validate Your Partner's Feelings: After you have listened attentively without getting defensive, be open and honest in acknowledging the pain you caused your partner. Let your partner know you're aware of how much you hurt them.  
  • Offer a Sincere Apology: Saying "I'm sorry" once is unlikely to be enough. You might need to express your genuine remorse for your betrayal more than once and over time.
  • Be Open to Talk to Your Partner About How the Two of You Got to This Point: It's important that you take responsibility for your actions without any excuses. But it's also important, when the time is right, for the two of you to talk about how you both got to this point in your relationship. If it's too difficult for the two of you to do this on your own, consider couples therapy where a a licensed mental health professional can help you both to have these difficult conversations, work towards healing and begin the process of rebuilding trust.
Rebuilding Trust After You Have Betrayed Your Partner
  • Be Consistent and Dependable: Keep your promises. Maintain whatever commitments you made to your partner. These include both big and small commitments. Be predictable in your behavior--show up when you say you're going to show up and do what you said you would do. You need to demonstrate to your partner that you're trustworthy.
  • Communicate Openly and Honestly: Share your thoughts and feelings and be an active listener when your partner communicates with you--even though it might be hard to hear how much pain you caused them.
Rebuilding Trust After You Have Betrayed Your Partner
  • Reflect on Your Behavior and How You Need to Change: Examine your behavior and address patterns you need to change.
  • Make a Commitment For Positive Change: Be sincere about making positive changes and then show your partner how you're making these changes.
Rebuilding Trust After You Betrayed Your Partner
  • Provide Reassurance: In the aftermath of your betrayal, your partner will probably need more reassurance from you than before they discovered the betrayal. So, find ways to show you care. Create an atmosphere of safety so that, over time, your partner can regain trust in you.
  • Work on Developing a Better Connection With Your Partner: Create positive shared experiences together to reinforce your bond.
  • Be Patient and Allow Time For Healing: Healing after a betrayal is a process and the process can't be put on a timetable. There is no quick fix. Once trust has been broken, it takes time to heal and everyone heals in their own time.
What If You and Your Partner Discover Your Relationship is Beyond Repair?
As mentioned above, it's not always possible to rebuild trust--even when both people really try.

There are times when both people make a genuine effort to rebuild trust, but in the process they discover they have reached an impasse. 

Your Relationship Might Be Beyond Repair

For instance, your partner might realize they really can't overcome their hurt and resentment or you might realize you're not willing or able to make the necessary changes needed to rebuild trust.

At that point, you should both attempt to separate in a way that doesn't cause any additional pain.

Once you have decided to end the relationship, be clear about boundaries.

Take Time to Grieve

Take time to grieve the end of the relationship. 

Practice self care

Seek emotional support from people close to you.

Consider getting help from a licensed mental health professional to help you heal.

About Me
I am a licensed New York psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, EFT (for couples), Somatic Experiencing, Parts Work Therapist (IFS and Ego States Therapy) and a Certified Sex Therapist.

I work with individual adults and couples.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

Also see my article:














































Monday, September 15, 2025

How to Be Open to New Relationship Possibilities After Healing From a Bad Breakup

Opening your heart to new relationship possibilities can be challenging after a bad breakup (see my article: Coping With a Breakup).



After a bad breakup, some people vow to never be in a relationship again. Then there are others who get involved too quickly to avoid feeling the pain of their breakup (see my article: The Many Layers of Grief).

As a psychotherapist in private practice who works with both individual adults and couples, I see both--individuals who rush to get involved too quickly and others who close themselves off to the possibility of getting involved with someone new.

How to Be Open to a New Relationship After a Bad Breakup
Each person has to make their own decision about what's best for them.

For people who want to be open to a new relationship eventually, these tips might be helpful:
  • Give Yourself Time to Grieve and Heal: Allow yourself to feel the sadness, anger and disappointment without judging yourself for having these feelings, which are common and normal. Too many people jump into their next relationship to avoid feeling the emotional pain from a recent breakup. This is a mistake. Give yourself the time and space to heal--even if it's taking longer than you might have expected. Along the way practice self compassion and don't judge yourself. Recognize that many people have gone through what you're going through and with time they have healed (see my article: Overcoming Your Fear of Allowing Yourself to Feel Your Sadness).


  • Strengthen Your Emotional Support System: Connect with supportive loved ones. Also consider getting help in therapy from a licensed mental health professional if you're struggling. Avoid isolating (see my article: Why Close Friendships Are Important).
  • Develop a Healthy Mindset: Before you get involved in a new relationship, learn to be comfortable with yourself (see my article: What is a Growth Mindset?).

  • Try Not to Go to Either Extreme: Try to stay balanced. Don't rush into dating again. Conversely, try not to become so fearful about potential new relationships just because your last relationship didn't work out. Although you might discover that you prefer the solitude of your own company, don't allow fear to foreclose the possibility of being with someone new (see my article: Being Open to New Possibilities).

  • Be Intentional When You're Ready: If and when you're ready, look for someone who aligns with your overall values. You don't need to align on every belief, but choose someone with whom you're basically compatible (see my article: The Power of Starting the Day With a Positive Intention).
Conclusion
Getting through the heartbreak of a difficult breakup can leave you feeling sad, disappointed, fearful and anxious. These are common reactions.

After you have grieved, if you prefer to be single and unattached, make that decision based on a healthy mindset and not out of anger, fear or bitterness. You don't have to be in a relationship to be happy. Many people choose to remain single. They have healthy relationships with friends and family and they develop interests and hobbies so life is meaningful.

If you want to be in a relationship after you have grieved your prior breakup, take care of yourself first. Allow yourself to grieve to heal and, after you have healed, think about what you want in your next relationship. Then, learn to be open to new possibilities.

Get Help in Therapy
If you're struggling to grieve or you feel stuck in the grieving process, seek help from a licensed mental health professional.

A skilled psychotherapist can help you through the grieving process so you can heal.

Rather than struggling alone, get help in therapy so you can move through your grief and go on to live a meaningful life.

About Me
I am a licensed New York psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, EFT (for couples), Somatic Experiencing and Certified Sex Therapist.

I work with individual adults and couples.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.










Wednesday, May 28, 2025

What is the Connection Between Emotional Vulnerability and Shame?

In a recent article, Learning to Embrace Your Emotional Vulnerability, I discussed shame and how it often develops due to a variety of causes in early childhood.


Emotional Vulnerability and Shame

In the current article I'm discussing the connection between emotional vulnerability and shame.

What is Emotional Vulnerability?
As I mentioned in my prior article vulnerability is a strength--not a weakness.  This has been shown to be true in Brene Brown's research, as discussed in that article.

As a recap:
Being emotionally vulnerable means being willing to expose yourself to potential emotional risk.  

Emotional risk might include exposing yourself to the possibility of:
  • Criticism
  • Rejection
  • Emotional pain
Being emotionally vulnerable means:
  • Understanding vulnerability is not a weakness
  • Being open and honest
  • Sharing your feelings 
  • Expressing your needs
  • Showing others your true self even the so-called "imperfect" parts of yourself
  • Developing authentic connections
What is the Connection Between Emotional Vulnerability and Shame?
Emotional vulnerability and shame are closely related:
  • Shame as a Barrier to Emotional VulnerabilityPeople are often fearful of being emotionally vulnerable because they fear being seen as flawed or deficient in some way.  This can lead them hiding their emotional vulnerability so they won't be judged, criticized or rejected.  The problem is that when someone hides their emotional vulnerability, this type of hiding can reinforce shame, so this becomes a cycle (see my article: How Does Shame Develop at an Early Age?).
Emotional Vulnerability and Shame
  • Vulnerability as a Trigger For Shame: Vulnerability can be a trigger for shame because when people are vulnerable, they're exposed to the possibility of being judged, criticized or rejected.  This often occurs when people have a history of having internalized negative messages about themselves or they have a traumatic history of being criticized or rejected (see my article: Overcoming Fear That People Won't Like You If They Knew the "Real You").
  • Vulnerability as a Pathway to Healing Shame: By learning to embrace emotional vulnerability, people can learn to heal from shame. By acknowledging vulnerabilities and imperfections to a trustworthy and caring person, individuals can show their authentic self and break free of the silence and secrecy that generate shame. 
  • Empathy as an Antidote to ShameEmpathy can be a powerful antidote to shame. When people can share their emotional vulnerabilities with trusted loved ones, they create an environment where others can can feel safe sharing their vulnerability. 
Getting Help in Therapy
Fear of being emotionally vulnerable combined with shame is a common problem.

Getting Help in Therapy

If you have been unable to overcome your fear of vulnerability and shame, you could benefit from working with a licensed mental health professional.

Rather than struggling on your own, seek help from a licensed psychotherapist so you can embrace your vulnerability and lead a more meaningful life.

About Me
I am a licensed New York psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, EFT (for couples), Somatic Experiencing and Sex Therapist.

I have over 20 years of experience helping individual adults and couples (see my article: What is a Trauma Therapist?).

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.




















































 

Tuesday, February 25, 2025

Rebuilding Relationships After Infidelity

I introduced the topic of infidelity in my prior article, Common Relationship Problems After Infidelity by using two composite vignettes. 

Rebuilding Relationships After Infidelity

In the current article, I'll continue to focus on these two vignettes and show how couples sex therapy can help.

Clinical Vignettes
The following composite vignettes were discussed in my prior article:

Maria and Sal: A Relationship With a Monogamous Agreement

Recap From the Prior Article
Maria found out that Sal was cheating on her with another woman after she found his sext messages. Initially, Sal denied he was cheating but, eventually, he admitted it but he said the other woman "meant nothing" to him.  But he agreed to stop seeing the other woman. Both of them agreed to put the matter behind them and "move on." After that, their sex life became much more passionate than it had been in years, but that only lasted a short time. And, despite their agreement to "move on", Maria became highly suspicious of Sal's behavior and even his thoughts.  As a result, they stopped having sex altogether and they didn't know how to repair their relationship.

Rebuilding Relationships After Infidelity

Couples/Sex Therapy for Maria and Sal:
When they couldn't repair their relationship on their own, they sought help in couples sex therapy (see my articles: What is Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) For Couples and What is Sex Therapy?).

The couples sex therapist told them that a lot of couples want to avoid the difficult stage of repairing their relationship so they decide to "move on" to avoid difficult emotions. She told them this is a common mistake and to achieve a lasting reconciliation, they couldn't avoid dealing with their emotions.

During couples sex therapy Maria learned how to communicate her hurt and pain and Sal learned how to respond in an empathetic way and to express his genuine remorse. The therapist normalized that, even with couples who want to stay together, their relationship doesn't improve overnight. 

Maria admitted that, after she found out Sal was cheating, she wanted to prove to Sal and to herself that she could be just as sexy and passionate as she imagined the other woman had been. But this stage didn't last long because her anger, resentment and suspicion grew and she felt even more resentful when she thought that Sal might think "everything was okay" just because she was having sex with him.

The therapist also told Sal that, if he wanted Maria to forgive him (and not just brush their problems under the rug), he needed to understand her upset and be accountable to her--even if the reconciliation didn't happen as quickly as he would like. 

They worked on improving communication and rebuilding trust, which was especially difficult for Maria because she realized, once she allowed herself to feel the emotions she had been suppressing, she was hurt and angry (see my article: Learning to Trust Again After Infidelity).

Over time, they both realized that, even though Sal sought Maria's forgiveness and Maria wanted to forgive him, forgiveness isn't a one-and-done process--it comes in stages from surface to depth (see my article: Stages of Forgiveness).

As Maria healed emotionally and began to rebuild trust in Sal, she was open to trying to have sex with him again. At first, there were times during sex when she thought about Sal being with the other woman and she became so upset that she had to stop.

Over time, Maria and Sal accepted that, due to the betrayal, they wouldn't be able to "go back" to the same relationship they had before. They realized they needed to mourn the relationship they had before and develop the next phase of their new relationship. Along the way, there were setbacks, but they continued to make progress (see my article: Setbacks Are a Normal Part of Therapy While You're on the Road to Healing).

Bob and John: A Relationship With a Consensual Nonmonogamous Agreement

Recap from the Prior Article:
Bob and John were in a long term consensually nonmonogamous relationship when Bob found out that John had gone against their agreement by getting emotionally involved with another man (their agreement was that they could have casual sex with other people but not see them more than once to avoid forming emotional ties). John admitted he broke their agreement. He told Bob he never meant to hurt him. He also told him that he wanted to remain in their relationship, but he also wanted to continue to see the other man.  Bob was so hurt that, even though he didn't want to end his relationship with John, he knew it would be excruciating for him if John continued to be emotionally involved with the other man. So, he distanced himself emotionally and sexually from John. Both of them felt stuck and they didn't know what to do.

Rebuilding Relationships After Infidelity

Couples Sex Therapy for Bob and John:
Since they were at an impasse, they decided to seek help from a couples sex therapist.

As John took responsibility for cheating, he realized that he would need to make a painful decision after Bob gave him an ultimatum: Either John would choose to work on their relationship or, if John wanted to continue to see the other man, they would breakup.  

After considering Bob's ultimatum, John chose to work on their relationship and he ended his relationship with the other man. He said he realized he didn't want to lose Bob and that their relationship was the most important relationship in his life.

Similar to Maria and Sal, they had to go through many of the same steps to try to repair their relationship--improving communication and rebuilding trust.

During the early stage of couples sex therapy, they agreed not to see other people until they repaired their relationship. Bob was also fearful that, if they did open their relationship again to have casual sex with others, he wouldn't be able to trust John.

Bob and John worked hard in therapy to rebuild their relationship over time. Gradually, Bob believed John had a deep sense of remorse for his betrayal. John also admitted he had been selfish to cheat on Bob.

The first few times they tried to have sex, Bob got distracted with thoughts about John being with the other man. During those times, Bob had to stop and he turned away from John. He couldn't help feeling insecure in terms of what the other man's body looked like compared to him.  

They were able to talk about it in their couples sex therapy and, over time, John learned to stay focused on remaining emotionally and sexually engaged with John instead of focusing on thoughts about John being with the other man.

When they had rebuilt their trust, which took time, they talked about their consensual nonmonogamous agreement in light of John's cheating and reiterated that they would only have casual sex with others and refrain from having sex with the same partner more than once to avoid developing emotional attachments.

Conclusion
Infidelity can occur in any type of relationship--regardless of whether you and your partner have agreed to be in a monogamous or consensual nonmonogamous relationship.  

If the partners decide to remain together, they need to go through the repair process without skipping or avoiding steps.

Couples sex therapy can help people in relationships to heal and develop the next phase of their relationship.

Getting Help in Couples/Sex Therapy
Couples sex therapy is therapy for people in a relationship where they're having emotional and sexual problems--whether it's about infidelity, differences in libidocommunication problems or other relational and/or sexual problems.

Getting Help in Couples/Sex Therapy

If you and your partner are stuck in a dynamic that isn't working, rather than struggling on your own, seek help from a licensed mental health professional who has an expertise with the problem you're having.

The best chance for success in couples sex therapy involves seeking help sooner rather than  later.

About Me
I am a licensed New York City psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, EFT (for couples), Somatic Experiencing and Sex Therapist.

I work with individual adults and couples.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.